Episode 8: Tears and Emotion

In what is potentially the greatest episode in Top Model history, this week showcases the dramatic arts and how they may be possibly somehow vicariously distantly related to the modelling industry. The episode opens with an aria performed by Sharon Zhai on the front lawn of the model mansion, this means I am no longer the only random opera singer in the series. She looks like the picturesque cover of a Mills and Boone romance novel awaiting the return of her prince charming, but instead she is greeted by a confused group of models. On a completely unrelated note, she also delivers a Sarah Mail. I am disappointed to discover that unlike her song, this is not written in Italian. Adele points out that the dramatic jargon and stage references insinuate an acting lesson will ensue, however the other girls believe they will learn opera. I wish modelling involved opera.

Soon the girls arrive at what can hardly be classified as an acting lesson, due to the lack of learning and or teaching. Instead, in typical Top Model fashion the girls engage in some impromptu acting performances. Clare nullifies my previous post by confessing to the murder of her imaginary friend Jenny, and Cassi successfully proves her expertise in fake crying. All this acting will apparently epare them for an audition for a real life television commercial, however there are no other models casting for this job and the winners are unlikely to be paid. Congratulations to the marketing team at Telstra for devising an ingenious method of obtaining free labour during the economic recession.

learning to act like a 12 year old

Tahnee is chosen as the lead female, and is once again transformed from moderate attractiveness into incredible beauty. In direct contrast to modelling reality, the girls without jobs must work and those with jobs are required to work overtime without pay. As Adele and Cassi wait for the shooting to finish they effectively communicate the irrationality of this punishment with a monotonic indifference, stating that they are ‘bored’ and ‘just want to go home’. Another rather obvious Sarah Mail arrives, but by this stage of the competition the girls have become predisposed to over analysing these messages. So when the note mentions driving and motion, they expect to be personifying various emotions.

This shoot is an excellent excuse for some sponsored product placement, and as usual, after the client is mentioned they are immediately forgotten by the models. Despite this inattention to the item being advertised, the resulting images are wonderful. Each model is required to emulate a specific style icon. Although some of the girls are unaware of who Elizabeth Taylor and Greta Garbo are, it is clear that this week Jonathan has been styled after the unforgettable Napolean Perdis. Unfortunately Franky is eliminated, although her acting was highly commended and the photo was greatly celebrated at judging. I find it very irritating when a girl is kept in for one more week, although nothing she can do will protect her from the imminent elimination. It is generally an indication that she is simply good for increasing drama or maintaining ratings, an immunity that is unfair both to her and the other contestants.

About the author

More from this author »

  • Jacques

    It is generally an indication that she is simply good for increasing drama or maintaining ratings, an immunity that is unfair both to her and the other contestants.

    Hear hear.

  • alamela

     Alamela Asimov? Oh Jacques, you are witty.

    I revere your knowledge of sociology, and hopefully you can retain your bright young mind throughout that degree. Meanwhile, I finished my single chapter on the subject last week, and soon I begin my studies of forensic psychology. Hopefully this will be somewhat related to a future Top Model episode (but not too closely related), and then we can discuss something more important than modelling again.

  • Jacques

    I must regretfully advise that I recoiled from sociology after copping a semester of it. These days I stick to my original knitting over on the computer science side of things. I know what you’re thinking: an obnoxious white guy who studies computer science — quite a paradox.

    Forensic psychology sounds fascinating. The term of trade for such for the criminally insane in my industry is “management”, for reasons I have yet to determine.

  • Matty

    Hey Alamela, just wondering, do the producers of the show have any influence as to what the contestants say/do/how they act?
    Just wondering whether Clare’s “I killed Jenny” was off her own bat, or if it’s the producers trying to add to her ‘serial killer’ image.

  • Lady Mara

    I cant believe that the producers are not even PRETENDING to eliminate the girls based on their performance throughout the week. I was wondering what Sarah would say to her when she was in the bottom two, and I really would have laughed at the “you have really pulled it off this week, and your progress is impressive” (then why the **** is she in Bottom 2?) if it wasn’t followed by the immensely unfair “we’re not sure if your range is strong enough”. Errr, is it worse than Adele’s and Tahnee’s? Wasn’t her photo highly praised? Is that the best excuse you could come up with? ARGH, HATE THEM ALL EXCEPT ALEX PERRY!! How was he, Alamela?