While the men and women wait in the suite, they discuss who probably got fired. Everyone assumes Cheryl will be the first to be fired, but Lisa and Debbie insist that, regardless, Victoria will have to step up her game. When Victoria walks out, she heatedly tells everyone that she knows who they are now and that “it’s on.” Lisa jokes that she hopes Victoria won’t kill her in her sleep. Tia tries to apologize, but Victoria says to forget it, that the women are just “acting like bitches.”
Mr Trump meets the celebrities with James Lipton to describe the celebrities’ new task for Medieval Times. Then Don Jr. introduces the task. The teams will put on a 12 to 15 minute show for Medieval Times. They will be judged on creativity, entertainment value and overall presentation by an audience vote. The men pick Penn as the project manager. The women choose Lisa. The winning team will be given $20,000 plus an additional $20,000 from Medieval Times.
Talking to Unanimous, Penn articulates his vision for their show: two knights played by Paul and Lou fighting for the same woman, played by Dee Snider in drag. When the winner sees the “fair maiden” drop her veil and reveal her true face (i.e. Dee Snider’s mug), he decides to kill himself. The women’s concept is the “Unreal Housewives of Camelot” fighting over a knight named Sir Donald of Mr Trump, played by Lisa. Dayana worries it’s too adult oriented. Lee Cordner explains that the key to a successful Medieval Times show is action and excitement. Dayana, because of her concerns, asks whether parents bring kids, and Cordner says yes, there will definitely be kids in the audience. Lisa says she’s psyched about this, wanting to prove to the world that she – a “dirty comic” – can succeed with a show that doesn’t have a dirty word in it. Aubrey, as Lisa’s second in command, says Dayana will ride out as Lady Godiva in a nude body suit. Dayana, bemused, shrugs and says that if the leader says this is a good idea… long pause… she’ll do it. Victoria, on the other hand, is enormously resentful of her job as director.
The men get dressed up for dress rehearsal. George jokes that even though Dee is used to dressing up in drag for Twisted Sister, as Lady Dee Dee, “he actually looked rather lovely.” He does worry about Dee riding sidesaddle. Clay gets upset when George repeatedly goes off script as the announcer, since Clay had written the script with specific cues for the lights. Even worse, as “Lady Dee Dee” rides into the arena sidesaddle, Dee is thrown off the horse, catching his finger in the saddle and fracturing it. The EMT tells Dee he has to go to the hospital. Dee doesn’t want to go because it would screw up their show. He can tell his finger is messed up, and he’s in excruciating pain; but the show must go on. Determined to go through with the show, Dee ices his finger and says he’ll go to the hospital after it’s over. Penn and Arsenio start the show. Interviewed, Penn says that he has kids and knows how short kids’ attention spans are. Everything they’ve planned is “big and loud and gross and fast.” George introduces Sir Lou of Hulk and his adversary Sir Paul the Orange County Senior, who rides in on his big loud medieval-themed chopper. Finally, Lady Dee Dee of Twisted Godiva rides in with her trusty troubadour Sir Clay of Aiken, who breaks into song. Sir Lou defeats Sir Paul, but when Lady Dee Dee drops her veil, Sir Lou kills himself rather than kiss “her.” Clay thinks they took a risk doing comedy, but he is pleased by the very positive audience reaction. Still, he says, if they lose, it will be bad for Penn since the concept was his.
It’s the women’s turn. Dayana rides out as Lady Godiva. Lisa introduces herself as Sir Donald of Mr Trump and then introduces the Unreal Housewives of Camelot, who will compete for the greatest gift of all, Sir Donald’s love. Debbie as Archduchess Auto-Tune breaks into song and is then attacked by Patricia. As they fight with swords, Debbie falls and has a bit of a wardrobe malfunction when her dress flies open. Then Tia and Teresa go at it. Finally Teresa “wins,” but when she comes to claim Sir Donald’s hand, Lisa as Sir Donald says “You’re fired.” Teresa has a mock fit and recreates the infamous moment from Real Housewives of New Jersey when she flipped the table. Finally, Aubrey rides in as a drunk Snooki, falling off her horse and claiming Sir Donald’s hand. Ultimately, Lisa is pleased with how everything went.
The teams gather in the Boardroom. Mr Trump asks Lisa how they did. Having learned from the previous week, Lisa says they’re “confident but not cocky.” Mr Trump asks Victoria what she thought of Lisa as team leader. Victoria says she is (pause) strict, and everyone laughs. Don asks about the tension early on between Lisa and Victoria. Lisa explains that in choosing her actors, Victoria felt pushed aside. Victoria admits she felt hurt. Mr Trump asks Teresa what it was like to act, and Teresa admits it was a challenge, especially recreating moments from Real Housewives when her reactions had been real, and not feigned. James Lipton tells everyone how surprised and impressed he was to find the seriousness with which all of the celebrities handle their tasks and pays both teams his respect for a job well done. Mr Trump asks Dee about his finger. When Dee says that it was fractured at the base, Mr Trump tells him how impressed he is that Dee went ahead and did the show anyway. Paul tells Mr Trump that as team leader, Penn was “phenomenal.” Michael and Lou agree, and George describes Penn as a renaissance man. When Penn says the team was amazing, Mr Trump tells him it will get worse as they get to know each other. Penn responds that he can’t see the future, but so far it’s been great. When asked who he’d bring back into the Boardroom, Penn reluctantly says Lou and George, explaining that the others have talents he thinks will help the team in the future. George stays silent, but Lou is upset, insisting that he came from nothing and has talents Penn knows nothing about. Penn acknowledges this and apologizes, but Lou is not appeased.
Mr Trump asks Lisa who she would bring back into the Boardroom. Lisa says definitely she would bring back Victoria, who let her emotions get in the way. She mentions that Victoria threatened to quit the team. When Mr Trump asks if there were witnesses, Aubrey nods. Mr Trump tells Aubrey she looks very good and asks if that’s sexist. Penn says, yes, it is by definition, but it’s not necessarily wrong. Mr Trump smiles, shrugs and says, “The hell with it.” Lisa tells Victoria that she likes her, but that she can’t expect her to be her babysitter or her mother. The other person Lisa would pick was Dayana, saying she didn’t display any talents. Dayana responds that she tried to assist in many ways, but was dismissed and told to just be pretty on a horse.
Mr Trump asks James Lipton to gives his notes to the men. Lipton thought the men’s show had tremendous energy, starting with Penn and Arsenio. He thought all the men played to their strengths, and in the end, Penn did something that really impressed him, identifying all of the players by name. Then he gives a summary of the audience’s notes, pointing out that the audience thought the casting was great, that the team had great energy and there was great audience engagement. The men got 558 votes. Don says that for the women, the audience really liked the integration of the Real Housewives theme and loved watching Teresa flip the table. They thought the women looked hot. For this, the women got 363 votes. The men win. Penn’s charity, Opportunity Village, will receive $40,000. Mr Trump sends the men’s team out.
Mr Trump asks Patricia whom she would fire. She surprises Mr Trump by saying she would fire Victoria, explaining that while Victoria did step up the second day, but she should have stepped up right away. When Mr Trump asks Aubrey who to fire, she chooses Dayana, “the least utilized” team member. Watching this, Clay says that Aubrey is insecure and doesn’t like not being the prettiest one in the cast. Arsenio asks if he’s saying that Dayana’s prettier than Aubrey, and Clay cattily responds that Victoria is prettier than Aubrey. Asked by Mr Trump, Dayana tells Lisa she likes her but that she should be fired, since the show was her concept. Ultimately, Lisa chooses Victoria and Dayana to come back into the Boardroom. Mr Trump tries to get James Lipton’s opinion. Lipton is evasive, saying that Lisa has the most important thing in abundance, passion. Mr Trump asks what this means, finally asking him bluntly, “Whose fault was the loss?” Lipton fails to give a straightforward answer. Mr Trump asks Dayana who, between Lisa and Victoria, has more talent and energy. Dayana clearly hates being forced to make a choice, but admits that Lisa has more of both. In the end, Mr Trump says that Victoria’s mistakes with the cues probably did negatively affect the performance and he also hates it that Victoria even thought about quitting. Adding it all up, he says, “Victoria, you’re fired.” As the women leave, Dayana asks Victoria for a hug. In the Boardroom, Mr Trump says it was a tough choice, and Lipton tells Mr Trump he doesn’t envy him at all.
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