Celebrity Apprentice USA recap - Ad Hawk

Team Unanimous decides that Teresa will manage the next task since she’ll be the only person Aubrey will work with. When Lisa and Penn walk in, Lisa tells Teresa to watch herself, that the “bitches” on her team can’t handle people who are smarter than them. Arsenio starts getting riled up about Aubrey again, calling her “bitch” and “whore,” and this sends Lisa over the edge, telling Arsenio he better hope they don’t end up on the same team together or he’ll have problems. After they argue for a bit, Arsenio, interviewed, says that Lisa Lampanelli is the last person to tell him what language to use, since it’s “the pot calling the kettle black.” Lisa warns him it will mess up his image. When Dayana and Lou return from the Boardroom without Dee, Lisa flips out and calls them both “brain dead” and “useless.”

Arsenio Skypes Magic Johnson to tell him the good news about the $50,000 that he’s won for his foundation. Magic Johnson loves it and thanks him profusely. As they say their farewells, they head bump through the computer. The next day, Aubrey returns, saying she realized that she needed to “stand up to the bullies” on her team. All the teams gather at a building overlooking Times Square to find out their task. Trump introduces Dean and Melissa from Entertainment.com. The task is to create a 60-second commercial promoting the benefits of Entertainment.com. Dean and Melissa will judge the commercials on three criteria: creativity, product integration and brand messaging. Ivanka and Don will be Trump’s advisors on the task.

Without consulting with her team, Dayana steps up and insists that she’s going to be project manager. Forte huddles, and as they discussed earlier, Teresa takes over as project manager. Teresa really wants to win for her charity, but she’s worried about Arsenio and Aubrey, considering them a “ticking time bomb.” When Trump says the winner will receive $20,000, Dean from Entertainment.com says to triple that amount. Trump says, “$60,000, very good.” The teams leave to start the task. Aubrey confronts Arsenio, telling him his words hurt. Arsenio explains that he had no desire to hurt her and apologizes. Then they agree to let bygones be bygones; Arsenio is glad to make peace, and they vow to get behind Teresa on the new task.

With Team Forte, Lisa is upset to hear that Penn is leaving at 4:00 for a show, saying that “Lou and Dayana have not a brain cell between them and bring nothing to the table.” Penn explains that Entertainment.com essentially gives a coupon book for $30 that, if someone were to use all of the coupons, it would add up to thousands of dollars. Dayana is glad to be project manager, because Lisa is going to be forced to listen to her for once, and agree or not, Lisa will have to work with it. She suggests a scenario where a guy wants to propose to a woman at a particular restaurant, with the help of the coupons. Penn thinks it’s good, and they agree to run with it. In the van, they flesh out the idea further, the coupon book taking a couple from dating through marriage to procreation.

Over with Team Unanimous, Aubrey is nursing her grudge, admitting that while she’ll probably never like Arsenio again, she’s got to bite her tongue and be team player, “for a while.” The team can hire actors, but Arsenio thinks Paul would be perfect as a conservative-looking father, wearing a suit and all. They ask Paul if he’ll be willing to take out the earring and suit up, and he agrees. The team heads to their set and develops their idea. Paul will be a stodgy father thinking he’s hearing something questionable from his daughter’s bedroom, but when he busts in, he finds her with her boyfriend, playing on the computer with Entertainment.com. Teresa is happy with the funny script but worries about whether it’s getting too dirty. Arsenio says they can edit it later if need be.

Lou is bothered by the fact that the team decides to hire actors, when he thinks he and Dayana would do a fine job. Dayana asks him to work on the graphics, but he’s still fixating on not being chosen to act. As the team works in the space, Lisa says she’s glad Dayana’s leading, because then she defers to them as professionals instead of insisting on tossing out ideas like an annoying little kid. Dayana’s happy to see everything in order and gets ready to direct. Penn sees Lisa and Dayana getting along and thinks it’s the closest thing to a miracle he – as an atheist – has ever seen. The shoot starts and everyone loves what the actors do with the script. Lou starts to make some suggestions about angles to accentuate branding. But Dayana thinks they’re fine.

Team Unanimous cracks up when they see Paul cleaned up, dressed up and made up. Teresa has fun as the director, but Aubrey says that watching her direct is painful. Still, they all have a good time. Clay thinks that Arsenio’s freak-out has actually tamed Aubrey; but he realizes she’s a loose cannon, and you never know what’s going to happen with her. Just as Ivanka walks in to see how the team is doing, Aubrey’s in character laughing maniacally. Ivanka sees Paul and starts laughing, saying the highlight of her week was seeing him “dressed like a dweeb.” As Teresa starts to describe their concept, Aubrey can’t help herself and takes over describing it. Ivanka thinks she should have let Teresa handle the description and realizes Aubrey still hasn’t learned her lesson from the last Boardroom.

Team Forte finishes the shoot and Penn heads out for his show. Lou is still bothered by not being asked to act in the ad and thinks Penn leaving is wrong. Don visits and asks where Penn is. Lisa explains he had to go to a show, but that they got everything done and they’re fine. Dayana explains their concept to him. Don considers her “relatively” in control, but thinks that the others handled the major elements of the task early on. But, he says, this can be a good tactic: if they win, they win! And if they lose, she can blame the loss on someone else. Dayana asks Lou about the banners, and it becomes clear he doesn’t know how to handle a computer. Lisa is forced to admit Dayana’s been good on the task but wonders what Lou, beyond being strong, is good for.

Clay and Arsenio head out to start editing what they’ve already shot. Teresa starts to worry that they’re running out of time on the shoot, and Aubrey blames Teresa’s lack of efficiency. They eventually join Arsenio and Clay in the editing bay. Clay says that Arsenio and he gave gotten close over the course of the show and know how to work well together. Aubrey thinks they’re running out of time and that Arsenio and Clay are going to figure out a way to put the loss on someone else, probably Teresa. Aubrey makes a suggestion for a fairly big change, but Clay assumes she’s doing this just to be able to have something to point to if they lose the task, saying her biggest talent is for “covering her ass.” Teresa says if they lose on how the ad was edited, Clay and Arsenio are going down.

Dayana is happily surprised to find that Lisa and she are working well together. Lisa gets annoyed though when Lou starts to suggest that they cut to the Entertainment.com logo, since commercials on TV never do cutaways like that. Once again, his ideas are stupid and he’s just “eye candy.” The commercial times out at exactly a minute and they celebrate. Dayana asks Lou if he likes the commercial and he says, “Yes, and if I didn’t I would tell you.” But immediately, interviewed, he says he doesn’t like the commercial and thinks they failed on branding.

Team Unanimous gives their presentation to Entertainment.com. The team introduces the ad together with multiple shout outs and thanks to the executives and Entertainment.com. Overall, the execs seem to like the commercial. But Aubrey says that while Teresa imagines they’re all friends, if they lose Clay and Arsenio will gang up on her, and Teresa will get to see what Aubrey went through in the last Boardroom. Team Forte gives their presentation, and Dayana introduces the commercial graciously but perfunctorily, without the thanks and shout outs to Entertainment.com. Lou expects to get fired when they go back into the Boardroom. He doesn’t trust Lisa and thinks she has two personalities. He’s going to make the point in the Boardroom that he doesn’t like being called a “****ing loser.”

Trump meets with Dean and Melissa. He asks them how Unanimous did. They were impressed with how unified the team was and how they all worked together from the beginning of the presentation. They consider Paul to have been the standout, playing so well against his character. On the downside, they were concerned about calling coupon-cutting “old fashioned”; they thought it might be too risque, and they would have liked to have seen more actual items that they cover mentioned in the ad. This was something Dayan’s team was good at, covering all the bases, and Forte also had a very coherent story. But Team Forte didn’t have as much “fun” with their ad, and it wasn’t as “zippy.”

The teams gather in the Boardroom. Trump asks Dayana if she had a weak player, and while she hesitates, she eventually admits it was Lou. Trump asks Lisa what she thought of Lou. She agrees with Dayana that Lou didn’t contribute a lot. Moreover, Trump is shocked to hear that Lisa thought Dayana was a leader and is a “fierce” organizer. Lou tells Trump that Lisa is lucky not to be a man because if she were, he would “throw her right through that wall” and says that she called him a “loser.” Ivanka and Trump ask Lisa if it’s true that she called Lou a “loser.” She admits she was disappointed to be left with two weak players, and that might have slipped out in anger. But the difference, she says, is that Dayana stepped up. She tells him that she does the work and he doesn’t, and warns him to get ready for an elevator ride.

Trump asks Paul if Lisa called Lou a loser, but Paul said there was so much crossfire going on in that suite earlier, he was just getting out of the way. Trump agrees and says that wasn’t even the main fight. He asks Aubrey how she’s doing, and she says she’s done sniveling. Trump asks Arsenio if he and Aubrey are friends again, and Arsenio says unconvincingly that they “talked.” Ivanka asks him if he thinks Aubrey internalized the criticisms he had made in the last Boardroom. He answers that there was peace on the team, and he probably got “the right results with the wrong language.” Clay agrees that things were peaceable, and he liked Teresa as leader and as a director, which she’d never done before. Paul talks about how much he enjoyed playing against type, and Ivanka said she didn’t even recognize him.

Teresa says they didn’t have a weak link, and if they go into the Boardroom, it will be all five of them; and Aubrey agrees. Trump points out that this can lead to two people getting fired. Ivanka reminds Teresa that Aubrey was kind of talking for her when Ivanka visited Forte’s war room, and Teresa admits that she wasn’t happy about that. Ivanka speaks directly to Aubrey, saying that she considers her very talented but also polarizing, and this could well be from her tendency to speak when it’s another’s turn. Aubrey doesn’t respond. Trump asks Paul who he thinks their star is. Paul says how impressed he is with Clay and how well-rounded Clay is. Trump asks how Clay would do with the Paul’s friends at the bike shop. Paul laughs and says, not very well, not that Clay would want to. Clay jokes that he puts up with Paul okay.

The two teams watch each other’s videos. First up is Forte. When it’s done, Dayana says that she liked it, but she considers theirs more entertaining and funnier. Lisa also thought it was fun and that Paul and Aubrey did great acting jobs. Penn isn’t a fan of the sexual double entendre, but otherwise liked it. Then Trump shows Unanimous’ ad. When it’s over, Trump asks Dayana why they didn’t put themselves in the ad. Lou says he had pushed for that, but Lisa accuses him of bringing this up only in the Boardroom. Teresa liked it, but thinks Dayana could have played the actress’ part, and Arsenios suggests Penn as the guy. Penn says he considers himself too young for the part. Trump (obviously joking about himself) agrees, saying he “hates those people” who date younger women. Don laughs, but “reserves his commentary.”

Trump asks Clay which commercial he liked better. Clay thinks theirs was definitely better and that he got more “joy” from it. When Lou agrees with Clay, Lisa can’t believe her ears. She considers this a Benedict Arnold, turncoat thing to say. She adds that it’s easy for him to criticize when he didn’t do anything, and it was the other three who made it. Lou points out that Penn left early, but Lisa said even with that Penn did more. Lisa goes in for the kill, pointing out everything he didn’t do and that if she and Dayana agree on something, namely Lou’s uselessness, you know it has to be true. Lou says she’s just negative. She says that she gets the job done. Trump and Don both challenge Lou, stating his preference for the opposition’s ad and even Teresa thinks Lou is in the wrong.

Don says that the execs liked Forte’s explanation of the app. But they thought the story was a little predictable as a love story, considered the direction somewhat weak and that the ad was shot kind of flat. Also, they thought Unanimous did a better job of actually showing the app itself. Lou says that he had pointed out that they should break up their camera angles, and Dayana admits this is true, but that moving the cameras would have taken too much time. Ivanka says that with Unanimous, the execs really liked the fun of the ad and liked how there were close-ups on the app itself. They were however concerned about how risque the commercial was and questioned calling Paul “old-fashioned,” saying this could alienate the company’s demographics.

Trump says that the execs really like both ads and that both teams did a good job. But they liked Forte’s commercial more. Teresa gets very emotional about winning the $60,000 for her charity, the NephCure and for one boy in particular named Matthew. She was very disappointed when she didn’t win for them the last time as task leader, and this means a lot. Trump commends Paul on being such a good stiff, and he says he doesn’t know if he’ll ever live that down. Trump sends them out of the room.

Team Forte celebrates in the suite before settling in to watch the fallout for Team Unanimous. In the Boardroom, Lisa once again states how she feels it was a betrayal for Lou to side with the other team, especially when he didn’t put in the work and she did. Don points out that they lost, and Lisa says she still did everything she was asked. Dayana admits that Lou was not helpful during the task, having advice but keeping it to himself until later. Penn says he’s just confused by Lou’s definition of a team player, since Lou complains about people not being team players and then turns on his own team.

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