Green Wing

9:30pm – Tuesday, April 3 on ABC2

The end is nigh.

Caroline (Tamsin Greig) is now engaged to Guy (Stephen Mangan), while Mac (Julian Rhind-Tutt) has very little time to live.

East Hampton Hospital staff ride the emotional highs and lows of one wedding and a funeral.

It’s a time for big decisions and Guy has to wrestle with his conscience and Caroline has to find something to wear.

Gripped by desperation and paranoia, dwarf-killing duo Statham (Mark Heap) and Joanna (Pippa Haywood) are on the run, jumping relentlessly out of frying pans and into fires.

With no one left in charge, the Admin girls let their basic instincts run wild, while something very strange has happened to Karen (Lucinda Raikes) after her fall from the window.

Boyce (Oliver Chris – The Office) discovers life without Statham, Sue White (Michelle Gomez) spots a job opportunity and Martin (Karl Theobald) feels utterly helpless. Again.

Still, at least it all ends happily ever after.

Or does it?

9:30pm – Tuesday, March 27 on ABC2

Paranoia reaches breaking point for Joanna (Pippa Haywood) and Statham (Mark Heap) and they’re forced to take drastic action.

But when Statham hears that the police are treating the dwarf’s death as suicide, they start believing that they can get away with anything.

They decide to escape with beloved Boyce’s (Oliver Chris – The Office) help and steal a mobile home.

Mac (Julian Rhind-Tutt), Guy (Stephen Mangan) and Martin (Karl Theobald) each make an offer to Caroline (Tamsin Greig) that she can’t refuse. Only she does. Or does she? She rejects Martin and says “maybe” to Guy…

Martin follows the fugitives and falls asleep in the back while Statham’s erratic driving sees them teetering over the same cliff edge that featured at the end of series one.

Caroline gets an invitation to meet a mystery person at the train station. Believing that it will be Mac, she is surprised when Guy walks onto the platform.

Where is Mac? Devoted Guy proposes again and Caroline agrees to marry him. Meanwhile Mac is at the hospital discovering the disturbing news that he is dying.

9:30pm – Tuesday, March 20 on ABC2

Guy (Stephen Mangan) is becoming even more besotted with Caroline (Tamsin Greig), even getting a tattoo of a Friesian cow because he thinks this is her favourite thing, having misheard her when she said “freesia”.

Alan (Mark Heap) and Joanna (Pippa Haywood) become increasingly worried and paranoid about the murder of her cousin with the stuffed heron.

Martin (Karl Theobald) manages to win $10,000 on a scratch card, but only gets $3,000 after making an unwise deal with the newsagent.

Sue (Michelle Gomez) turns private eye and discovers that Mackenzie is not Mac’s (Julian Rhind-Tutt – The Hour) son.

This seems to leave the door open for Caroline again, who dumps gentle Jake (Darren Boyd – Smack the Pony).

However, Sue throws Caroline and Mac’s relationship into chaos by telling everyone that she is pregnant with Mac’s child.

9:30pm – Tuesday, March 13 on ABC2

Statham (Mark Heap) is unusually cheerful, but it will end in tears.

Caroline (Tamsin Greig) is in tears as she decides it’s best for Mac (Julian Rhind-Tutt) to be with Holly (Sally Phillips – Smack the Pony). She cheers up by going on a date with the headband-wearing complementary therapist, Jake Leaf (Darren Boyd – Smack the Pony).

Guy (Stephen Mangan) is green with envy and ever the patriot, stabs Jake in the head with a Swiss Army knife. Later, Caroline calls Mac’s answering machine to tell him she thinks they made a mistake in ending their relationship. Holly deletes the message before he hears it.

Harriet (Olivia Colman) decides to dump Lyndon (Paterson Joseph) because she feels guilty about their brief affair.

To combat Alan Statham’s delirium over getting 100% of the 7 votes cast in a radiology caption competition, Joanna (Pippa Haywood) recruits her dwarf cousin to scare him by painting him green and getting him to jump from behind Alan’s desk. Alan is petrified… and batters the dwarf to death with a stuffed heron.

The wheels are about to fall off the hospitals’ beds for this gaggle of misfits.

9:30pm – Tuesday, March 6 on ABC2

Dr. Statham (Mark Heap) enters politics. At least his manifesto will be grammatically correct.

Caroline (Tamsin Greig) thinks her choice of lodger in Guy (Stephen Mangan) might be a mistake, but finds she has to live with it.

At least Caroline and Mac’s (Julian Rhind-Tutt) relationship is going well… until Mac’s former girlfriend Dr. Holly Hawkes (Sally Phillips – Bridget Jones’s Diary, Smack the Pony) reveals a four-year-old son, named Mackenzie, with ginger hair.

Caroline is devastated and plays poker with Guy. When she loses and is forced to kiss Guy as payment, the chemistry is electric. No one is more surprised than Caroline.

Joanna is still desperately seeking Lyndon (Paterson Joseph) who is falling for an unlikely choice in Harriet (Olivia Colman – Psychoville).

In other news, Martin (Karl Theobald) inadvertently becomes a pimp.

9:35pm – Tuesday, February 28 on ABC2

Attractive single white Guy (Stephen Mangan) seeks accommodation.

Caroline Todd (Tamsin Greig) takes pity and becomes his landlady. On seeing Guy in his thigh-skimming, bespoke, quilted dressing gown, she has second thoughts.

Martin (Karl Theobald) is in desperate need of cash so naturally becomes a life model at a staff art class. He finds an unexpected fan in gobsmacked student, Sue White (Michelle Gomez).

Statham (Mark Heap) is distraught at his parking space location while Joanne (Pippa Haywood) is in denial about needing glasses.

Mac (Julian Rhind-Tutt) is rediscovering his affection for Caroline, but will that change when his exgirlfriend arrives to cause mayhem…?

9:30pm – Tuesday, February 21 on ABC2

A documentary crew is in the hospital, so everyone just has to act normally…

Well, there’s a first time for everything. Dr. Angela Hunter (Sarah Alexander) turns out to be a natural ‘reality television’ star.

Sue White (Michelle Gomez) makes life hell for Joanna (Pippa Haywood) and Guy (Stephen Mangan), while penniless Martin (Karl Theobald) tries his hand at being a sperm donor.

9:30pm – Tuesday, February 14 on ABC2

Guy (Stephen Mangan) has to live without a driving licence and neurotic Statham (Mark Heap) has to live without sex. Will either of them survive? Guy’s unusual mode of transportation may kill wildlife, but he seems unscathed…

Just when Caroline (Tamsin Greig) thought she’d climbed all the ladders, she slips down the longest snake on the board and she’s back to square one. Ah, misty watercolour memories.

9:30pm – Tuesday, January 31 on ABC2

Joanna (Pippa Haywood) is desperate to lure Statham (Mark Heap) away from Jesus. Caroline (Tamsin Grieg) is desperate to lure Mac (Julian Rhind-Tutt) away from his girlfriend and Sheffield. Mac challenges Guy (Stephen Mangan) to one final bet – that he can’t bed Joanna. Martin (Karl Theobald) discovers some knee-trembling news and things escalate towards a tragedy of Ancient Greek proportions as we head for the precipice with this happy bunch of desperados.

9:30pm – Tuesday, January 31 on ABC2

Joanna (Pippa Haywood) is desperate to lure Statham (Mark Heap) away from Jesus. Caroline (Tamsin Grieg) is desperate to lure Mac (Julian Rhind-Tutt) away from his girlfriend and Sheffield. Mac challenges Guy (Stephen Mangan) to one final bet – that he can’t bed Joanna. Martin (Karl Theobald) discovers some knee-trembling news and things escalate towards a tragedy of Ancient Greek proportions as we head for the precipice with this happy bunch of desperados.