Movies

Kids Movie Night!

Tangled, 7pm,  FMC
The voices of Mandy Moore and Zachary Lev star in the classic fairytale of Rapunzel, brought to life in this Oscar and Golden Globe-nominated animated adventure about the imprisoned maiden with the magic hair and the roguish young thief who sets her free. When a magical healing flower is used by the Queen before her child is born, her baby girl inherits the flower’s magic in her beautiful golden hair.

Stick It, 7.40pm, GO!
For those who like “Make It or Break It”
A former gymnast turned juvenile delinquent whom, after one too many run-ins with the law, is forced to enrol in an elite gymnastics academy. However, she is not welcomed into the academy by the other gymnasts who despise her for walking out on the Junior Olympics team.

Twilight, 10pm, TEN
Bella and Edward have some serious relationship issues to work through if they want to make it as a modern day Romeo and Juliet.

The Perfect Catch, 9pm, Seven
High-school teacher and devoted Red Sox fan Ben meets Lindsey, a beautiful and ambitious business consultant, and their attraction is instant. Everything seems ideal until baseball season begins.

Monsters Vs Aliens, 8pm, TEN
A woman is transformed into a giant after she is struck by a meteorite on her wedding day. She becomes part of a team of monsters sent in by the US government to defeat an alien mastermind.

Effective immediately, Ten are returning to movies on Saturday nights, dumping the existing line up which includes The Graham Norton Show, Modern Family repeats, Jamie Oliver shows and more. Before the Game remains at 6.30pm in Melbourne.

This Saturday, March 31, movies on Ten include Mrs Doubtfire at 6.30pm and Die Hard 2 following just after 9pm. Both one hour later in Melbourne.

Next Saturday, April 7, Saturday night movies will include Dr Dolittle: Million Dollar Mutts and There’s Something About Mary (which aired recently on Ten).

The trend continues on Saturday April 14 as well (details embargoed).

This is the reason why Ten are doing so badly in ratings. Last minute changes which renders TV guides useless, and playing the same movies over and over. Surely Ten can realise their movie library is relatively small and stick to programming on weekends that does not involve movies?

Graham Norton was not doing that badly on Saturdays.

With so many channels including digital channels offering movies on Saturday nights – and with them all usually being repeats, there is no way movies – especially movies played within a few months of previously airing will do anything at all to help Ten in ratings.

Ten constantly try different programming on Friday and Saturday nights, but always end up back at movies.

The network needs some stability – seriously.

8:30pm – Saturday, March 24 on ABC2

April 7. This week we screen Lucky Miles and The Coca Cola Kid.

Lucky Miles – Saturday, March 24 at 8.30pm The story of an unlikely trio who, forced together by circumstances, wander through the northern Western Australian desert searching for a way out.

As they are refugees, others are looking for them at the same time. Although the trio don’t know it, they are playing a game of cat-and-mouse with the authorities. The three are an Iraqi, a Cambodian and an Indonesian.

By sheer dumb luck they keep one step ahead of the law, leaving the impression that they are highly trained.

Directed by Michael James Rowland Lucky Miles stars Hamish Michael, Tevi Fanning and Vincent Chea.

The Coca Cola Kid – Saturday, March 24 at 10.10pm An eccentric marketing guru visits a Coca-Cola subsidiary in Australia to try and increase market penetration.

He finds zero penetration in a valley owned by an old man who makes his own soft drinks, and visits the valley to see why.

After ‘the Kid’s’ persistence is tested he’s given a tour of the man’s plant, and they begin talking of a joint venture. Things get more complicated when the Coca-Cola man begins falling in love with his temporary secretary, who seems to have connections to the valley.

Directed by Dusan Makavejev, The Coca Cola Kid stars Eric Roberts, Greta Scacchi and Bill Kerr.

8:30pm – Saturday, March 17 on ABC2

April 7. This week we screen Malcolm and the Oyster Farmer.

Malcolm – Saturday, March 17 at 8.30pm Malcolm, a chronically shy mechanical genius, has just been fired from his job. He decides to get Frank, who has just been released from jail, to move in to help pay the bills but with Frank’s help, Malcolm turns to a life of crime.

Directed by Nadia Tass, Malcolm stars Colin Friels, Lindy Davies and Chris Haywood.

Oyster Farmer – Saturday, March 17 at 9.50pm Jack Flange moves from Sydney to a small oyster farming community to be closer to his ill sister. In a desperate bid to help her, he commits robbery, but then loses the money.

Directed by Anna Reeves, Oyster Farmer stars Kerry Armstrong, Alex O’Loughlin, Jim Norton and Diana Glenn.

IT”S MOVIE NIGHT

Slumdog Millionaire (Premiere) 9pm, Seven
A Mumbai teen who grew up in the slums, becomes a contestant on the Indian version of “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?” He is arrested under suspicion of cheating, and while being interrogated, events from his life history are shown which explain why he knows the answers.

Blue Valentine, 10.20pm, showtime premiere
Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams star in this romantic drama that follows the intense relationship between a couple who fall passionately in love in their early twenties and then face challenges to their marriage six years later. Dean (Gosling) and Cindy (Williams) are parents of a beloved young daughter, but their relationship has seen better days and they struggle with the demands and expectations of work and family life. At breaking point, but flooded with romantic memories of their courtship, the couple steals away to a hotel where they have one night to try and rekindle their passion and save their marriage.

The Witches of Eastwick, 9.30pm, GO!
In this scandalously sexy, eye-popping feast, three bored friends can’t resist the devilish charms of the new man in town. But the ladies soon discover that there’s a surprise in getting what you wish for.

American Psycho, 9.30pm, 7mate
Wealthy Manhattan stock broker Patrick Bateman is seemingly perfect. He desperately wants to fit in, yet the more he tries to be like every other Wall Street wunderkind, the more faceless he becomes, and the less control he has over his murderous urges. How far will Patrick go in order to maintain his perfect facade?

Kingdom of Heaven, 11.30pm, Seven
Balian is a blacksmith who has lost his family and nearly lost his faith. Amid the pageantry of medieval Jerusalem, he falls in love, grows into a leader and ultimately defends the city against staggering odds.

Family Movie Night!

The Lion King (Premiere) 6.30pm, Seven
After being tricked into thinking that he killed his father by his evil uncle Scar, young lion cub, Simba, abandons his identity as the future King.

High School Musical 3: Senior Year, 7.30pm, Disney Channel
It’s almost graduation day and the thought of heading off in separate directions has these Wildcats thinking they need to do something they’ll remember forever. YTT’s Chucky choreographs and performs!

Bee Movie, 7.30pm, Nine
Barry B. Benson, a recent college graduate and worker bee stuck in a dead-end job, finds himself disillusioned with the prospect of having only one career choice.

Alice in Wonderland (Premiere) 8.30pm, Seven
In a magical and imaginative twist of Lewis Carroll’s beloved Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking-Glass, 19-year-old Alice returns to the whimsical world she first encountered as a young girl.

Wild Wild West, 8.30pm, GO!
In 1869, two agents who work for the president are assigned the task of tracking down a doctor responsible for kidnapping a group of scientists in order to assassinate the president.

That’s right, The Devil Wears Prada.

This Friday night, March 9, 2012 at 8.30pm.

Wasn’t it only on two months ago? And three months before that?

This is a classic example of HOW NOT TO GET ratings – courtesy of Channel TEN.

Friday March 2 – 8.30pm. The movie will be 27 Dresses – HOW MANY TIMES has this movie been on Ten? 27 maybe? Has been TBA until now.

Sunday March 4 – 9.30pm. House remains in the schedule for now. Note House is a double episode in AFL states.

Monday March 5 – 8.30pm. Melbourne International Comedy Festival is OUT – after being amended in just a few days ago.

Instead, a special called Superstars of Comedy will air. Absolutely no details on this one.

Friday March 9 – 8.30pm. Movies still TBC.

Correct as at March 1, 2012.

Supercedes all previous programming information for TEN.

10:00am – Thursday, January 1 on ABC2

Debra Winger is Emma Greenway Horton, who, like so many of us, spends most of her life trying not to be her mother’s daughter.

Shirley MacLaine is Aurora Greenway, who believes something resembling happiness can be achieved if only she can maintain absolute control over her life and those around her.

Jack Nicholson is the Greenway’s next-door neighbour former American astronaut Garrett Breedlove.

Danny DeVito is Vernon Dahlart, Aurora’s long-time suitor, the man who will not go away.

Jeff Daniels is Flap Horton, the man Emma decides to marry against her mother’s wishes.

John Lithgow is the Des Moines bank official who befriends Emma when she runs out of money at the check-out stand of the local supermarket.

Terms of Endearment reveals Aurora and Emma at their best and their worst. It’s a story about love, expressed in very unusual terms.

10:00pm – Thursday, February 23 on ABC2

Very funny… every single one of the characters is beautifully, embarrassingly real – The Guardian, UK In this sharp but charming comedy series, Simon Amstell (the real-life former television presenter of the hilarious UK pop quiz show Never Mind The Buzzcocks) plays a version of himself – a television presenter who is quitting his job to try to do something more meaningful with his life.

In the first episode, Simon turns up at Grandma’s house to announce his decision to his family – maybe he’ll write something instead. Or act a bit. His mum, Tanya, is horrified: “Act? You can’t act. Can you.

You’ve got a skill already. Taking the piss out of pop stars.” And she’s even less impressed when Simon tries to convince her that her new boyfriend Clive might not be the right man for her.

Meanwhile, Grandpa discovers something that might be cancer. Or a raisin. And Auntie Liz struggles with her son Adam who appears to be starting a teenage rebellion.

Then Tanya and Clive make an announcement of their own…

Stars Linda Bassett (East is East, Larkrise to Candleford) as Grandma, BAFTA-winner Rebecca Front (The Thick of It, Nighty Night) as Simon’s mum Tanya, Geoffrey Hutchings (Benidorm, Sunshine) as Grandpa, James Smith (In The Loop, The Armando Iannucci Shows) as Tanya’s boyfriend Clive, Samantha Spiro (Cor, Blimey, Tomorrow La Scala) as Auntie Liz and introduces Jamal Hadjkura as her son Adam.